As 2013 winds down, taking inventory of the year’s highs and lows feels inevitable. When 2013 started I had a feeling that it was going to be a great, transformative year. Turns out, it was. Great and transformative, yet equally painful and uncomfortable. Change is not easy, at least not for me.

When I look at the low points, the breakup of my marriage, my children learning to live in two houses, explaining my emotional and mental roller coaster to friends and family about 200,000 times, buying my home, housework, housework and more housework, the stress of my job, the stress of single motherhood, helping my children navigate their emotions as I try to understand my own…and the effort of releasing more tears than I knew a human can produce, it feels like a lot. Oh and let’s not forget, holding my head up high and wearing the mask of “all is well” just enough to believe it on the days that collapsing would have been so much easier. Good times.

Yet, when I look at the highlights, the real high points, I am amazed how many good things have happened to me and around me this past year. I faced some of my greatest fears and survived…not only survived, rocked them! I bought a house on my own and run a house on my own. I am teaching and raising two phenomenal human beings who I enjoy watching grow and thrive. I reconnected with my long time friend as our marriage ended and hashed out years of how and where things went wrong to understand the whys of where we are today. I learned to see that if a square peg doesn’t fit in a round hole, no one is actually at fault.

I enjoy my own company and have become one of my greatest allies. I made amazing new friendships, enhanced others and discovered just how valuable family is in my life. I started the book I always said I’d write and even wrote a children’s book. I meditate daily which I’ve always wanted to do. I stumbled across Integrated Energy Therapy in the Spring and became a Master Instructor by the Fall of an energy modality that supports me in miraculous ways as I shape my life, as well as allows me to help others while they shape theirs. I am more intuitive, positive, whole and together than perhaps ever in my life.

When I look back at my goals for 2013, the one that sticks out the most was “walk in the dark and make my own light.” If I knew how literal that would have been I wonder if I would have written it down. It was scary out there in the dark, but it did force me to access my own innate survival skills as well as see the beams of external support.

For someone like me, who analyzes every scenario, and plays out every outcome to see if the moves are safe, a year filled with unknowns is simply a lesson of practicing trust in oneself and the outcome before it reveals itself. And believing that whatever the end result is is exactly what I need.

So as I say farewell to 2013 I am even more hopeful and excited for what 2014 will bring. New adventures, new goals and experiences and always so much to learn.

Here’s to another year filled with awesomeness and light!

Happy New Year!